Groundhog Day

"If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you; if you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." - Gnostic Gospel of Thomas

I read this quote early in sobriety.  I am still waiting to be saved. 

It is so easy to see our lives as one long day after another.  No real change from one to the next.  We wake with the best of intentions.  Sometimes we show up and accomplish what we intended, but often it feels like Groundhog Day.  Oh wait…today IS Groundhog Day. 😂

Punxsutawney (try spelling that on a random Sunday) Phil made his prediction this morning.  Six more weeks of winter it is…at least for us in the northern hemisphere.  The article states, "The giant rodent emerged from his burrow at dawn on Sunday to three knocks on his door and chants of 'Phil' as thousands across the country anxiously awaited his answer.  After being held in the air for all to see, Phil was placed on a stump to communicate with his inner circle." 

I want to communicate with my inner circle.  Perhaps, like Phil, I just need to be yanked out of the dark into the light while thousands chant my name and then my inner circle, the one with all the answers, will appear. 

We work so hard at figuring out who we are, feeling like we are not making any discernable progress.  Striving day after day toward a goal yet feeling like time and life are constantly working against us.  But the truth is, how often have we genuinely asked ourselves what is in us to "bring forth"?  We dream about a different life, one that we feel comfortable in; one that "fits" us.  Yet, if we were yanked out of the dark into the light and given all the answers, would we really listen?  Or would the change required to incorporate the "answers" send us running back to our burrow?

Change is one of those fascinating love/hate relationships in life.  We want to change, but we rarely stop to define exactly what we want.  We want a different job or a different partner or a different situation, but we don't take the time to imagine what our new reality will look like or what it will take to get "there."  Then when change happens, because we wished for it, we rail against the reality.  Change is hard, it isn't what I asked for, or worse, what I had was better.   Why did everything have to change?  Fear of moving forward leads us to romanticizing the past that we were desperately hoping to leave yesterday.  Anyone else feeling dizzy? 

Like Phil, perhaps we do need to be yanked out into the light so we can start questioning what it is we really want.  What IS in me that I need to bring forth?  Then, perhaps like Phil, we need to go back into our burrow for another six weeks to think about how to get there.  Like anything emerging in the spring, we need to acknowledge that nothing sprouts into full bloom overnight.  It takes time and faith and perseverance.  Two steps forward and the inevitable one step back. 

"The only failure is not learning from your mistakes" - Henry Ford

Progress is often so small it is invisible.  In Atomic Habits, James Clear's change message is: don’t underestimate the power of small, incremental changes. When you commit to improving by just 1% every day, those improvements may seem modest at first, but they eventually lead to transformative outcomes. This gradual approach to success teaches patience, persistence, and trust in the process, reinforcing that real, lasting change is built one small habit at a time.  The daily grind often blooming into an "AHA" moment when we least expect it.  But not without effort. 

Back to the beginning where I stated that I am still waiting to be saved.  I finally understand that no one can save me but me.  I have to pull my own self out of darkness, assess the situation, consult with my inner circle and then go back into hibernation.  And then I need to pursue change.  Yes, pursue it.  Not wait for it to find me. 

What about the rest of the first quote, "if you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."  Sounds scary.  Maybe it should. 

"Change is inevitable, growth is optional."  John C. Maxwell 

Change happens every day. Guaranteed.  What you learn from it or how you embrace it is optional.  When you do not embrace what is within you, when you stop learning and growing, you are no longer participating in your own life.  And that is scary.  Drinking kept me from participating in my own life.  Alcohol kept me buried so deep in my burrow I ran the risk of never seeing the light again.  What a waste that would have been.  My addiction was alcohol, but we all have something we keep doing or feeling despite the negative consequences to our lives.  This is your burrow.  Your safe space.  Your “comfortable.”  There is no evolution in comfortable.  Nothing grows in constant darkness.  Growth is optional, but it rarely feels "safe."  The weight of not being who you came to this earth to be, could destroy you.  And what a waste that would be. 

This Groundhog Day, rather than just seeing it as a repeat of the day before, step into the light.  See your shadow. Real evidence that you do exist.  Decide what changes you would like to see.  Then plan.  Don't let random change bring you down.  Pursue change YOU choose.  Have a plan.  Trust yourself.  Only you know what you really need.  And be prepared to fail often…and learn from it.  Then start again. 

I will stop with the cliches and rodent analogies for now.  Just know that I believe in every one of you.  I CANNOT WAIT to see what is in you to bring forth!  The world will be a better place with you participating in it.  Happy Groundhogs Day!!

Much love,

Lisa