Practice

Fifteen hundred emails.  That is how I started my work day yesterday.  Most of which were junk, but marketers are very clever these days.  Advertising looks like it is coming from an individual, not a company, meaning I should pay attention.   On the flip side, I get emails that look like they are junk, but  are from a local municipality notifying me of a development or other activity in their community, to which I do need to respond.  All this to simply say, I had to read through each of the fifteen hundred emails. 

My boss set up an early meeting asking briefly how my trip was, then launching into all that needs to be done.  We had one other person in our group, but he gave his two week notice right before I left for Greece, so my boss has been on his own for a month.  In a weird twist, he stated ,"I have never felt more alive during the past month.  The days have flown by and I felt electrified by all that was overwhelming me."  Such a juxtaposition from my world during the same time period.  He was energized by the stress, I felt alive in the calm.  But I agree, the days flew by. 

I haven't been watching the news, but every person I talked to felt compelled to remind me of all the tragedy in the world.  From the events in Gaza to the death of Matthew Perry and the chaos of our government.  The fact that we had no Speaker of the House for most of the time I was gone (I totally missed that).  I was instantly sucked back into the craziness that is life.  I felt drained.

I started my day the way I usually do - meditation, writing, exercise.  My Peloton bike had forgotten me and I had to log on.  It took several times with  both Peloton and work to remember my passwords.  I felt challenged even trying to get back into my normal routine.  My life certainly seemed to have forgotten who I was.  I had a healthy breakfast. By lunch I knew I needed to eat, but didn't feel like I had time to stop.  Halloween candy was there and easy, so that became lunch. 

Caught up on emails, but exhausted by three, I realized that I needed to deal with the snail mail that I had put on hold for a month. I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the post office to track down which local branch I needed retrieve my mail from.  I picked up several bags of mail, most of which was junk, but, like my emails, had to be sorted through individually. On the way home, I drove past my nail salon and decided I would stop for a much needed pedicure. 

I have been going to this salon for a while.   No one there really speaks English.  You drop in, no appointment needed, so I don't have a "regular" person.  I did what I normally do.  Pick out the pedicure and nail color I want, sit in the massage chair and start checking emails.  The woman doing my pedicure was rubbing my feet, the chair was pummeling my back and suddenly I stopped.  Just for a minute.  Put my phone down.  Closed my eyes.  And was overwhelmed with gratitude.  I know it sounds strange, but she was gently rubbing my feet, Taylor Swift was playing in the background, they were chattering away in whatever language they speak.  I just felt grateful for a moment of peace.  I said "thank you" to no one in particular.  I opened my eyes and paid attention to what she was doing, not what was on my phone.  How her hands felt, how the water felt, how good that silly massage chair felt. I noticed where I was, who she was and how grateful I was for those few moments. 

And then the strangest thing happened.  She got up to get a hot towel and asked if I would like some tea.  I have been going to this salon for almost a year.  I have never seen them offer anyone tea.  I didn't know it was an option.  She brought the tea back and we proceeded to have a conversation about dogs.  It was a simple conversation, her English wasn't great, but we muddled through.  I pulled out my phone, not to play games or check email, but to show her pictures of my dog and all the other dogs in my life.  It was lovely.  And unexpected.  And peaceful.  And it could have gone by unnoticed. 

The Universe is subtle.  And you have to pay attention or you just might miss the gifts that it sends every day.  You also have to participate.  I could have remained sucked into my day.  Checking emails, worried that I might miss something important or that someone might notice that I wasn't at my computer.  Feeling guilty for taking a few minutes for a pedicure.   Something that sounded way too indulgent on a day where it felt like everything needed to be addressed immediately. I had no time for such extravagance.  

One thing I learned in the last month is that I have to be aware of life.  I have to pay attention to my energy and the energy around me.  I have to practice participating in life.  I have to practice not getting sucked in to what everyone else sees as important.  Man, it is hard.  One day and I felt like I was back in the space where I had no choice.  Life was coming at me hard and I was on the defense.  Practice is being on the offense.  Putting myself and my energy first.  Making my life a non-negotiable.  But I can already tell it is going to take a lot of, well….practice. 

Happy Halloween everyone!