Three

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." - Joseph Campbell

Today….I have been alcohol free for three years.  I remember what a struggle it was to not having anything to drink for three DAYS.  I never imagined I could reach three years.  I never imagined how much it would change my life. 

I have strong feelings about alcohol and the role it plays in society.  The role we allow it to play in our life and our reliance on it for pretty much everything. 

But today is about gratitude.  Gratitude for family and friends that have supported me on my journey.  Gratitude for finding the part of me that knew I was not living up to my full potential.  That part of me, my soul, some would say, that has always been with me.  Patiently waiting for me to notice that I was worth more than I felt I deserved.   Gratitude for every difficult thing or person or emotion that life has brought my way.  Without which I would not have learned that I am, we all are, survivors.  Grateful for being here now.  Wherever here and now happens to be. Whether or not it is filled with love and joy or frustration and sadness.  I am here.  I am still standing.  Gratitude for learning that I am far from perfect and that is okay.  I am okay.  I am human.  And being human is a really hard job.

I am grateful to know that life is a process.  And it is precious. It's an amazing journey.  Three years ago, I couldn't have imagined doing what I am doing now - taking a month of my life for me.   To be courageous.  To step outside my box.  To trust myself.  NONE of that would have happened if I was still drinking.  But at its core, it wasn't the alcohol.  Alcohol was just my chosen vehicle.  Three years ago, I started healing the pain that life brings all of us.  Acknowledging and letting go  of the truth that shit happens.  We all have a story.  I am grateful that I am choosing to no longer let mine define me.   

A good friend sent this to me today.  I think it sums everything up nicely.

One day she realized that

She couldn't solve all the problems.

She could just do her best.

She wasn't perfect.

She sure did try.

She kept showing up.

She kept balancing.

She loved.

She learned to live with grace.

Grace for others.

Grace for her own journey.

And she became proud of her

Imperfectly beautiful story. 

Rachel Marie Martin

Sending love to each and every one of you.  I hope you have an amazing Wednesday.  Enjoy your day and your journey.  We only get one shot.  What will you do with yours?